The 100: Without Love
by bash4102
Summary: Post-finale FanFic! Bellamy is no longer himself after Clarke leaves and Octavia feels his pain. When Octavia makes a big decision, will the whole camp will be effected. I don't own The 100!
1. Realisation

Octavia sat in camp watching her brother mope around getting on with his job, training the cadets. He had been so distant lately, and although she hated to admit it she knew exactly why he woke up, he did his job, and went back to bed again. She knew it was because he missed Clarke, she knew it was because he needed Clarke.

She sat there watching how he moved, his shoulders were slouched and there was no steadiness in the way he walked. Since the day Clarke left she had watched every ounce of Bellamy drain from his eyes. She hated watching him like this and she couldn't help but feel it was her fault. Hell, it was her fault she had been the one to push her away. Octavia knew that what Clarke did was wrong and she hated Clarke for it, but she made Bellamy happy, and that's all Octavia wanted, she wanted Bellamy to be happy. She couldn't watch him like this anymore, she walked off to her tent tears began to flood her eyes, for once in her life she didn't stop the tears that were coming she just let them flow.

Lincoln had been keeping a close eye on Octavia the past few days, he knew how guilty she felt, but this time he couldn't stand by. He left his station and walked over to his tent and found Octavia sobbing into her sleeve "Octavia, what's wrong?" Lincoln asked the girl he held in his arms.

"I have been blaming Clarke for so long, but everything she did, she did for Bellamy." Octavia cried.

"What's wrong with that?" Lincoln said puzzled at her comment.

""How could I blame someone who was trying to protect the person I love, I'm wicked, I made pushed her out and that's why she left." Octavia sniffled "I thought if she left Bellamy would move on."

"Octavia pl…" Lincoln began.

"But Lincoln, that would of never worked because what I realise now is that Bellamy loves her, every bit of her, he doesn't care about what she has done because he knows who she is, and I fear he will never move on."

Lincoln had no words he just squeezed her shoulders and let her cry into his shoulders, he knew that she was right, he had seen it long ago, and he just never had the guts to admit it.

n - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Days passed and Octavia couldn't look at her brother without her eyes filling with tears, she couldn't take it. Octavia had changed so much since her first day on the ground, she was braver and she was going to use this to talk to Bellamy.

She put on her brave face and walked over to her brothers work station "Bell, we need to talk." Octavia said to her brother who wasn't facing her, he didn't take any notice of her "BELLAMY WE NEED TO TALK RIGHT NOW!"

Octavia shouted, at which her brother turned to face her "About what O, there is nothing to talk about?"

"You and I both know that that is absolute shit."

"Why O, what's wrong." Bellamy said mocking a worried voice.

"The problem is, is that you aren't happy any more, you aren't yourself and nobody likes to see you this way." Octavia said reaching out for Bellamy's arm.

"I'm fine O." Bellamy said turning back to work.

"Ok Bell, see you later." She could barely hide her tears as she ran away to her tent; it was almost night so she decided that she would just sleep. Sleep had been very hard for her to accomplish, but this night she slept very well until she woke up just before noon. She climbed out of Lincoln's arms and headed to the Med Bay, where she grabbed an emergency first aid kit and then she left.

She walked up the gate surrounding camp grabbing a gun on the way, when she got there a guard look at her nervously as she tapped the fence with her gun "Open it please." Octavia said nicely.

"I have orders not to open the gates." The guard said with panic in his eyes.

"If you don't open the gates, you won't ever take another order again." Octavia said as she pointed her gun at the man.

He didn't take a second chance he grabbed the lever and then pulled the gate open. Octavia ran she didn't even know which direction she ran in.

She only knew one thing she was going to find Clarke…


	2. Find her

How could she? How could _he?_ Jasper sat watching Bellamy prance around doing his job like nothing was wrong. He hated Bellamy for what he did and he was more than happy that Clarke left camp, if it had of been up to him she should of died like the criminals on the Ark did. As for Bellamy, he knew he was needed but he didn't want anything to do with him, absolutely nothing.

He knew Bellamy loved Clarke, practically everybody knew, well all except Bellamy of course. Jasper, knew that Bellamy did what he did for Octavia but Clarke, Clarke she did it for herself and he could never forgive her for that. He knew that he should probably tell Bellamy about how Octavia just left but he actually couldn't look at Bellamy anymore. Jasper knew he wanted to forgive them both, but he loved Maya and she is dead and nothing could ever undo that.

He watched Octavia, the way she moved ever so cautiously so that she wouldn't wake anyone up. Jasper didn't exactly know what she was doing but he had a good idea it was something she wasn't supposed to be doing. Jasper didn't want to get involved but Octavia had done nothing wrong and he wanted to keep her safe. He followed her out of the camp through the gate that Monty and Raven had disabled so the remaining 100 could get out when they needed too. He didn't threaten the guard like Octavia did because if he would have never looked scary enough to be let out. Although he wasn't quite sure why Octavia hadn't used the 'Fete Gate' as Wick had called it. It puzzled him but he wouldn't let it slow him down, he had seen Octavia race out into the woods and he set off to follow her.

Jasper knew Octavia had no idea where she was going but he followed her anyway hoping she would change her mind about Clarke, change her mind and remember she didn't deserve to be saved.

Bellamy sat in his tent, he didn't want to see anyone and he didn't want anyone to see him, anyone to see him crying. He had tried so hard to hold it in, but he couldn't anymore, he tried to be strong for everyone else, but nobody else needed it anymore. He could feel his heart shattering into thousands of pieces. He had never been one to admit his feelings but he had to. He sat sobbing her name, he sat sobbing Clarke. He didn't know he loved her until she left, and all he knew now is he wanted her back. She might not even love him, but to know she was safe was all he needed right now. He wiped his face and climbed out of his tent and began his work again saying nothing, only grunting.

Octavia had no idea where Clarke would be, but running in one direction seemed like the best idea right now, she knew where she was running, Mount Weather. She stopped in her tracks, she knew Jasper was following her and it would be too painful for him to go back there, she immediately changed direction. There was no place that didn't bring back bad memories, there was nowhere to run where pain wouldn't strike so she decided to take a breather and make a small camp. She lit a fire and cooked a rabbit she had just caught on it "Hey Jasper do you want some!" Octavia shouted

Just as she did Jasper emerged from behind the tree "Thanks Octavia, I could smell it, and it smelt good!" The two friends sat for a while making small talk about camp and all the work they had to do when a piercing scream came from far away "O, what was that?" Jasper questioned.

"I don't know!" Octavia said as she stood and stomped the fire out. Jasper followed her as they ran towards the screaming. It wasn't stopping, as they got closer they heard gunshots "Jas, it's not a grounder it's one of us!" Octavia said running faster.

Octavia and Jasper arrived at a clearing where they saw a monster gorilla standing over young girl, no older than twenty, she screamed in pain. Octavia didn't hesitate; she grabbed her sword and stabbed the gorilla straight through the back. The gorilla dropped onto the screaming girl who began to cry for help. Jasper didn't waste any time he ran up to the girl and began to push the gorilla off her, Octavia came over to help, and as the gorilla dropped beside the girl Octavia and Jasper got their first real look at the girl.

This was no random girl…

This was Clarke…


	3. Don't leave her

Jasper looked down at the girl before him and all of his hatred for her drained away. He no longer saw her as the girl who killed Maya, he saw her as the girl that saved his friends. He looked over to Octavia who was evaluating her wounds "O, how bad is it?" Jasper asked.

"Pretty bad!" Clarke spluttered.

"Clarke, it's me Jasper, look we are going to help you!" Jasper said raising Clarke's head slightly.

"I'm sorry for everything I did Jasper." Clarke said between breaths.

"We don't need to worry about that now, ok." Jasper said stroking the hair from Clarke's face "O, we have to get her back to camp, now." Jasper said looking over to Octavia.

"I know Jas, I know." The two people wrapped their arms around the feeble girl before them "Let's go Jas, not long till sundown!" Jasper nodded and they stumbled off into the woods trying to find their way home.

Bellamy had been searching camp for hours looking for Jasper and Octavia, they didn't show up for their chores and no one had seen them since last night. He might have been mad at Octavia but he loved her so he needed to find her and Jasper as well.

He ran round camp asking people, who probably didn't even know who Octavia and Jasper, whether they had seen them or not. He ran into the Ark Station and to Monty who was working on the automatic doors "Hey Monty have you seen Jasper or Octavia!" Bellamy asked with increased frustration.

"Yeah they both left in the early hours of this morning!" Monty said turning to face Bellamy.

"What do you mean they left?" Bellamy asked his frustration growing.

"Well Octavia walked straight out the front gate and Jasper used the Fete Gate." Monty said returning to his work.

Bellamy muttered a thanks as he ran out of the Ark station and into the main camp. He ran up the gate and demanded for it to be opened but as the guard turned to open it he saw some figures emerge from the lining of the trees "Open the gate now!" Bellamy shouted.

The gate was barely open before Bellamy started to run but as he got closer to the figures he saw Jasper and Octavia holding a girl with mess of blonde hair falling across her bleeding face. Bellamy stopped running and fell to his knees "Clarke!" He whispered.

Jasper and Octavia pulled Clarke alongside them until they reached where Bellamy sat "Bell, can you take her, we have been walking for hours." Octavia pleaded.

Bellamy stood up and took the blonde from his sister, he hooked his arm under her knees and wrapped his other arm round her back, as he began to walk Clarke placed her head on Bellamy's shoulder "I'm sorry Bell." She muttered.

"It's alright." He said as he carried her to the med bay.

Octavia walked through the gate and ran into Lincoln's open arms "You did it O, you found her."

"Yeah but she is barely alive." Octavia whispered into his ear.

"Yeah, but you got her home, that's all Bellamy needed." Lincoln said to reassure her.

Octavia pulled back from his embrace to watch Jasper run and catch Monty in a tight hug. Jasper whispered in Monty's ear "It wasn't your fault," to which Monty smiled.

Bellamy sat and watched as Abby tried to bring Clarke back to health. He thought how much it hurt, how much it hurt to watch her like that, he wanted to wake up from this nasty nightmare with Clarke in his arms when he did. He didn't even try the stop the tears that came, he just let them flow. As Abby finished up on Clarke's limp body Bellamy walked closer to the bed she lay on. She was pale, paler that he had ever seen her "I should never have let you go princess." He whispered, he had never felt so lost in his life.

Bellamy hadn't left Clarke's side once, not when Abby came to do her checks, not when he was called out for cadet training, he wasn't leaving her and that was that. Abby said that Clarke was gaining her strength back, but she hadn't woken up once, it scared Bellamy, what if she never woke up. Bellamy looked down at Clarke and moments before he lost all hope her eyes began to flicker open "Bel-bella-bellamy!" She stuttered.

"Yeah princess it's me!" He said tears filling his eyes.

"What happened?" She asked looking down at her bruised body.

"You got attacked by a massive gorilla." Bellamy said trying not to shock her.

"So how did I get here?" She said rubbing her head.

"Octavia and Jasper were trying to find you in the woods, when they heard you scream and then they killed the gorilla!" Bellamy said leaning on her bed.

He wasn't expecting the way Clarke stretched out her hand to play with his dark curls "Never would have thought they wanted me back."

"I do, we all do!" Bellamy said, his eyes doing all the pleading for him.

"Nobody wants me; nobody will ever want me, not after what I've done!" Clarke said as she pulled her hand away from the back of Bellamy's head.

"That's not true!" Bellamy said before leaving to go, he didn't want to go, he'd never ever want to leave Clarke.

"Bell, please you're the only person I feel comfortable talking to, don't go!" Clarke whispered.


End file.
